Hints of Animus

I stopped by an upscale coffee shop on my way home yesterday. I asked the barista for a recommendation for a light roast, and he handed me a bag of Guatemala Buena Vista. The flavor was listed as follows: Cream cheese Danish, dried apricot, orgeat (Wikipedia: Orgeat syrup is a sweet syrup made from almonds and sugar with a little rose water and/or orange flower water).

I like coffee. I grind beans at home, using a Hario Japanese drip cone (The NY Times Wirecutter runner up for the best pour-over coffee maker) and an AeroPresss Coffee Maker (see NY Times “36 Best Gifts for Coffee Lovers) when I travel. Using a goose-neck kettle, I pour 195 - 205° water slowly, rotating around the Hario organic paper filter to ensure the full bouquet can emerge.

But I couldn’t taste this coffee’s cheese Danish or apricot and wouldn’t have recognized the orgeat even if I knew what it was. I wonder if, back at the coffee shop after a long day of making floral designs in large lattes, barista sit around a table making fun of us. “Okay, how about this: “Flavor: black pepper, Saigon Cinnamon, pot roast, and recently worn Addidas.”

Another thought, what if we could describe people in this manner. For instance:

David: Dyslexic, overtones of angst, hints of anxiety disorder, mild and mostly inoffensive sense of humor.

Some others:

Donald Trump: Narcissist, strong sociopath overtones, grifter, hints of orange rinds.

Stephen Miller: Xenophobe, misanthrope, notes of animus and malignancy.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.: Larval pork tapeworm, anti-science overtones, strong hints of trypanophobia[1].

Pam Bondi:…….not a clue

Linda McMahon: Dirty gym shorts.

Marjorie Taylor-Green: Rotten peach, peanut shell, coloring book.

Please share your own.

[1] Trypanophobia is the intense fear of needles. Specifically, people with trypanophobia fear needles in medical settings. They may avoid getting vaccines, blood draws or intravenous (IV) fluids. Although needle phobia is common, it can have severe consequences….FOR AMERICA!!!