Monday, August 23, 2010
The Tupperware Conspiracy
I don’t believe there is a international wives conspiracy. However, if there is one, it involves Tupperware and lids.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
What do Amar'e Stoudemire, Jack Abramoff and Bernie Madoff Have in Common?
What do Amar'e Stoudemire, Jack Abramoff and Bernie Madoff Have in Common??
“Amar'e Stoudemire landed in Israel yesterday for a voyage of discovery after learning he has Jewish roots.” “Yesterday Army Radio reported that the Florida native plans to spend time in Israel learning Hebrew, having recently learned his mother is Jewish.”
Thus reports Ha’aretz in its on-line English edition. This is exciting news for those Knick fans among us. The last time a Jew (Red Holtzman) led the Knicks to a championship, Arik Sharon was leading Tzahal to victory in Yom Kippur War. However, Amar’e’s pilgrimages to Israel to uncover his Jewish roots also raises a frightening specter: The Knicks have invested millions to acquire this franchise anchor, what if he decides to stay in the Holy Land to learn in a Yeshiva? This level of bad luck would cause us all to immediately run home and make sure our Mezuzot were kosher.
Stoudemire’s embracing of his Jewish roots comes on the heels of a difficult number of weeks in the on-going “who is a Jew” saga. Fortunately, we are the midst of the Netanyahu/Sharansky inspired truce period – or should I say, “half time”. It has always been my understanding that if Amar’e’s mother is Jewish then he is Jewish. That is, if her mother is or was Jewish. And so on. But what if his mother’s mother’s mother was converted to Judaism by a Conservative or, “hash v’shalom”, G-d forbid, a Reform rabbi? Who will have the final authority to declare him a Jew? I am inclined to accept him as a Jew because he can dunk and has a terrific jump shot. These are not generally characteristic we associate with members of our tribe.
Further, given the choice I am more inclined to accept him as a Jew and invite him as an exalted guest to our Sukkah than, another Jew in the news, David H. Brooks who, we were recently informed, misappropriated over $6,000,000 from his military hardware company for personal expenses. These expenses included his daughter’s multimillion-dollar bat mitzvah party that featured performances by 50 Cent and Aerosmith. It is my assumption that while his common human decency is questioned his authenticity as a Jew is not. This also can be said of Jack Abramoff who now checks the books at Tov Pizza in Pikesville Maryland after serving 3 and a half years at a minimum security prison in Maryland for fraud, corruption and conspiracy. His crimes included bilking Native Americans out of millions of dollars and using these funds for a number of projects, including the Eshkol Academy, an all-boys Yeshiva in Maryland. Like it or not, we don’t get to question these individuals’ legitimacy as members of our people. Can anybody say: “Bernie Madoff”?
All of this transpires close enough to T’sha B’Av that we should be mindful that infighting among our ancestor; between Pharisees and Sadducees, between assimilated Hellenists and first century Haredim contributed to the destruction of the Second Temple and the exile of our people. I so desperately fear that we do not see the danger.
Determining who is a Jew and who is not a Jew can never anything more than an in-exact science. These exercises, whether internal or externally motivated, have never served our people well. One would think that, as Jews, we would have learned that religious edicts made within a political framework generally do not end well for us.
I’d like Amar’e Stoudemire to feel welcomed and comfortable as a Jew. But as a professional who has been in the Jewish identity business for over thirty years, I dream of the day when all Jews will feel welcomed and nurtured by our Jewish community. Young men and women today are searching for a place where they can explore their spirituality and answer the difficult questions that confront them. Our profound divisions and vituperative bickering will not draw them to our people.
I cannot help but think of “A Soldier’s Story” the brilliant 1984 film based upon Charles Fuller's Pulitzer Prize winning “A Soldier's Play”. A Black officer is sent to investigate the murder of a Black sergeant in Louisiana. The obvious assumption is that the murder was racially motivated. In the end, we learn that a Black soldier had murdered the officer, a seemingly evil and heartless man, in profound contempt. Thus the seminal line: “Who gave you the right to judge, to decide, who is fit to be a Negro and who is not?”
Indeed, who gave you the right?
David Raphael ©2010
“Amar'e Stoudemire landed in Israel yesterday for a voyage of discovery after learning he has Jewish roots.” “Yesterday Army Radio reported that the Florida native plans to spend time in Israel learning Hebrew, having recently learned his mother is Jewish.”
Thus reports Ha’aretz in its on-line English edition. This is exciting news for those Knick fans among us. The last time a Jew (Red Holtzman) led the Knicks to a championship, Arik Sharon was leading Tzahal to victory in Yom Kippur War. However, Amar’e’s pilgrimages to Israel to uncover his Jewish roots also raises a frightening specter: The Knicks have invested millions to acquire this franchise anchor, what if he decides to stay in the Holy Land to learn in a Yeshiva? This level of bad luck would cause us all to immediately run home and make sure our Mezuzot were kosher.
Stoudemire’s embracing of his Jewish roots comes on the heels of a difficult number of weeks in the on-going “who is a Jew” saga. Fortunately, we are the midst of the Netanyahu/Sharansky inspired truce period – or should I say, “half time”. It has always been my understanding that if Amar’e’s mother is Jewish then he is Jewish. That is, if her mother is or was Jewish. And so on. But what if his mother’s mother’s mother was converted to Judaism by a Conservative or, “hash v’shalom”, G-d forbid, a Reform rabbi? Who will have the final authority to declare him a Jew? I am inclined to accept him as a Jew because he can dunk and has a terrific jump shot. These are not generally characteristic we associate with members of our tribe.
Further, given the choice I am more inclined to accept him as a Jew and invite him as an exalted guest to our Sukkah than, another Jew in the news, David H. Brooks who, we were recently informed, misappropriated over $6,000,000 from his military hardware company for personal expenses. These expenses included his daughter’s multimillion-dollar bat mitzvah party that featured performances by 50 Cent and Aerosmith. It is my assumption that while his common human decency is questioned his authenticity as a Jew is not. This also can be said of Jack Abramoff who now checks the books at Tov Pizza in Pikesville Maryland after serving 3 and a half years at a minimum security prison in Maryland for fraud, corruption and conspiracy. His crimes included bilking Native Americans out of millions of dollars and using these funds for a number of projects, including the Eshkol Academy, an all-boys Yeshiva in Maryland. Like it or not, we don’t get to question these individuals’ legitimacy as members of our people. Can anybody say: “Bernie Madoff”?
All of this transpires close enough to T’sha B’Av that we should be mindful that infighting among our ancestor; between Pharisees and Sadducees, between assimilated Hellenists and first century Haredim contributed to the destruction of the Second Temple and the exile of our people. I so desperately fear that we do not see the danger.
Determining who is a Jew and who is not a Jew can never anything more than an in-exact science. These exercises, whether internal or externally motivated, have never served our people well. One would think that, as Jews, we would have learned that religious edicts made within a political framework generally do not end well for us.
I’d like Amar’e Stoudemire to feel welcomed and comfortable as a Jew. But as a professional who has been in the Jewish identity business for over thirty years, I dream of the day when all Jews will feel welcomed and nurtured by our Jewish community. Young men and women today are searching for a place where they can explore their spirituality and answer the difficult questions that confront them. Our profound divisions and vituperative bickering will not draw them to our people.
I cannot help but think of “A Soldier’s Story” the brilliant 1984 film based upon Charles Fuller's Pulitzer Prize winning “A Soldier's Play”. A Black officer is sent to investigate the murder of a Black sergeant in Louisiana. The obvious assumption is that the murder was racially motivated. In the end, we learn that a Black soldier had murdered the officer, a seemingly evil and heartless man, in profound contempt. Thus the seminal line: “Who gave you the right to judge, to decide, who is fit to be a Negro and who is not?”
Indeed, who gave you the right?
David Raphael ©2010
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