Thoughts from the CZO, Chief Zayde Officer October 7

The murderous terror attack on Israel on October 7, 2023, on the joyous holiday of Simchat Torah, painfully conflates Jewish history and the Jewish experience in one day. Ours is what the eminent psychologist Marshall Duke calls an “oscillating narrative” — a history and stories of joys intertwined with sadness and heartbreak.

Yehuda Bergstein/Shutterstock.com As Duke teaches, it is for us to share the oscillating narratives of our families and people. It is the sharing of these stories that builds emotional resilience in our children. It is this intergenerational sense of self that binds us to Jewish people and nurtures our individual and collective courage, will, and humanity. And so, as grandparents, parents, and aunts and uncles, we must share the painful story of October 7, 2023.  But there is another story we must tell. In the words of the author Mark Oppenheimer, the Jewish people represent the longest-running book club in history. This is what Simchat Torah exemplifies. We joyfully dance around our books, adorn them in fine cloth and silver ornaments, and kiss them as they draw near. The Jewish people are the people of the book, and our books guide us in a life of meaning, values, caring, and joy.

SIMCHAT TORAH Child Torah courtesy of the Union for Reform Judaism On October 7, 2024, we will gather as families and as communities to remember the horrific events of the previous year and mourn those we have lost. And on October 24–25, 2024, we will celebrate Simchat Torah, dance around books clothed in fine cloth and silver, and tell our children the stories of the people of the book.     David Raphael  Chief Zayde Officer, Jewish Grandparents Network

 

Notes from the CZO, Chief Zayde Officer Carpets Belong Inside

The rocking chair found its place on the outdoor rug on the porch as the final piece in the refurbishment of our home. I sat there comfortably, rocking slowly, enjoying the warmth of the day, offset by the newly installed ceiling fans. Hal, my recently turned three-year-old grandson, stepped outside, looked down, and said: “Carpets belong inside.”

I’d like to address two elements of this transaction:  Just months before, Hal was barely making full sentences. His language is now full and fluid. Beyond the sentence structure, his comment demonstrated a growing sophistication in his understanding of the world — where things fit in and how they fit together. Carpets belong inside, not outside.   That simple interchange between grandchild and grandparent filled me with awe and wonder. I was smitten, besotted.  The cognitive development of a child is a miracle; one that unfolds in front of our eyes. It is a miracle that, far too often, we take for granted. Those of us who live far from our grandchildren see this development in stop action. One visit our grandchildren are learning to crawl and, seemingly the next, they are running and climbing on a Jungle Jim. One holiday they are saying their first words and the next they are inquiring about the carpet on the porch.   Those who study and teach positive psychology speak about a “beginner’s mind,” the sense of wonder and awe one feels when seeing or experiencing something anew. I like to think of this as a “child’s mind.”   Grandparenting offers us an opportunity to rediscover and reconnect with our beginner’s/child’s mind. We watch with joy and amazement as our grandchildren grow and learn. Through their eyes, we see a world of mystery and discover the world anew. It is with this beginner’s mind — a child’s mind — that I am experiencing the miracle of child development.    More accurately, I now see the world through a “grandparent’s mind,” which is like a beginner’s or a child’s mind of wonder but accompanied by a profound sense of gratitude and hope.    David Raphael  Chief Zayde Officer, Jewish Grandparents Network